I was scared–tired and underprepared
November 19, 2008 at 2:16 am (In Beaumont TX (at the dorm)) (chris martin, coldplay, confidence, fix you, hope, houston, in my place, jon hopkins, praying, ray gun, wisdom)
I just got back from seeing Coldplay at the Toyota Center in Houston, TX. Blake and I left from Beaumont at about 5:15pm, and the show started 7:30pm. The first band, Ray Gun, from El Paso, TX, was good, but nothing much to brag about. I didn’t like the second guy, a DJ named Jon Hopkins. The images were semi-trippy, but one of his songs ripped off a prelude by Bach while another was straight out of the dungeon theme music from Zelda for the original Nintendo game system in the 80s.
Coldplay then mounted the stage. I must say, I enjoyed the concert more than I expected. It’s no secret that, for me, Coldplay has mildly fallen from grace after their dismal X&Y album (with one redeeming track, Fix You) and the semi-okay Viva La Vida release (still, mostly forgettable tracks). Anyway, the point is this: Coldplay is Blake’s favorite band, and since I’m an emotional pansy and I’ve been feeling very vulnerable as of late, I was the one that ended crying at the show.
The two best songs, for me, were In My Place and Fix You. Here is what Fix You said:
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
You have no idea how true those words are for me–every word and every implicated message. I remember closing my eyes, tearing up, and just letting the music flow over me. I felt so very small and fragile, and I still do. I do feel well, but there’s still this pain inside that doesn’t go away. I feel like there’s a deeper problem, but why must my God delay in helping me sort it out, something I know I cannot do on my own (and not that I would want to do that anyway).
In My Place provoked similar feelings as Fix You, but it was still yet different. I remember Chris running around on stage, as buoyant and playful as ever; he encouraged and lifted me up tonight, yes he did.
There’s a lot going on in my life right now. There is even more that is going to happen in the next year. As In My Place says,
I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I’ll wait for you
I am praying for all the wisdom, hope and confidence my Lord is willing to give.
