another song with meaning!
I will post this song later, but here’s the basic idea: Starting in high school, I spent about the first five years of my life with a group of people who were never very true to me. We fell apart eventually, and I’ve moved on and made better friendships. Looking back at that time in my life, this song speaks clearly what that all means:
Caught in a stasis,
Feel like I’ve wasted all this time
With people and places
Who’ve never related or desired
…And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead — Wasted State of Mind
– here it comes –
I’m not so known
As I’d like to think I am
Though I’ll be found
Forever in your pain
And here it comes
I’d rather be no one than someone with no one.
I’d rather be no one than someone with no one.
No one to love.
I’m just useless for her.
Yeah, useless for her.
The Stone Roses – Here It Comes (click to download)
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I know why I’m sometimes unhappy:
1) I’m often at a loss as to how my heart can be made to feel less damaged
2) I really hate college and want to be done with it all
3) People are cruel, and they are bent on the moral decay of themselves and the church (here’s to you all you alcoholic youth pastors in Beaumont and around the world)
Often times I am happy:
1) I’ve got wonderful, caring friends
2) Music, movies, massages and head scratches are therapeutic and relaxing
3) I have a strong love for my family
There it is.
I tried
I’ll be honest, I’m very lonely right now.
I’m punished for these sins until I forget what happened.
Sufjan Stevens has never made me feel so down (until now).
There’s nothing I can do to be well?
My Mom is having surgery in Houston tomorrow, and so I’m house-sitting for the next three days. I’m home alone, and I just had a little breakdown, as you can probably tell. Then I sat down at my parent’s piano and played my favorite hymn “My Tribute” and another great hymn “Be Thou My Vision”. I just played, sat and wept uncontrollably.
I beg and plead that God will reveal Himself to me. I’m a damaged man, and I am torn apart by my mistakes. Justice is what I have been feeling, but I still ask for mercy.
Lyrics to My Tribute:
How can I say thanks
for the things You have done for me?
Things so undeserved.
Yet You gave to prove Your love for me.
The voices of a million angels
could not express my gratitude.
All that I am and ever hope to be,
I owe it all to You.
To God be the glory, to God be the glory.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
With His blood He has saved me. With His power He has raised me.
To God be the glory for the things He has done.
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Upon giving a listen to Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys, I feel a bit revived. Pausing calmly and waiting for a word from God, whether or not He offers one, calms you down if you’ve got your head on straight.
