All You Need Is Hate
Corrupt
You corrupt
Bring corruption to all that you touch
And risk
You will risk
You will risk all their lives and their souls
And burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell, yeah you’ll burn in hell
You’ll burn in hell
Yeah you’ll burn in hell
For your sins
Muse – Take a Bow (click to download)
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Does anyone know who this is? I bet most no one would recognize this man, but a few might know his name. It is more likely that you know the name of his church, but I won’t spoil the surprise just yet. I don’t know if you see it, but I do. This man is the living embodiment of hate. That is all he cares about.
Do you remember that really unsound group of “Christians” that came to the Lamar Mirabeau Head and preached a bunch of absurdities? What did you think about that group after they left? I thought a few things: liars, hypocrisy, and most of all… HATE.
My God. This man, pictured above, lives and breathes the concept of hate. There is nothing he’d rather do. He’s like a junkie who’s got to get his daily fix of anti-anything. You’re going to hell for cutting your hair, being from Sweden, being Catholic, etc.
Proverbs 4:16 says:
“For they (evil men) cannot sleep unless they have caused trouble or vexation; their sleep is taken away unless they have caused someone to fall.”
I’m sure this is the case with Fred Phelps and his congregation. They can’t rest unless they’ve caused enough trouble.
Moving on… For the following clip, which is a trailer to the 2007 documentary “Fall from Grace”, which is about this man and his church, you must:
Pay close attention to the part from 1:21-1:50.
At several points in the documentary, this children are either passively or aggressively proclaiming how stupid these fags are… these evil beasts, as they put it. These kids are being bred to hate. They are being bred into one of the seven deadly sins. What can anyone do about that? They are already brainwashed it seems.
It breaks my heart to see this hate coming from the mouths of little children. The documentary plainly shows how the kids know nothing about what they speak. It is just regurgitated garbage from their parents.
Speaking of family, it’s pathetic to see that the majority of the congregation of this man’s church is his immediate family. He has 13 children, and only 4 have rejected the church and abandoned all contact with this evil man. The others were successfully brainwashed. So, 9 children that support the church, and they have kids and grandchildren. He is building up a nice little cult to ravish the image of Christianity. I am so thankful for people like that.
What do I do about that? I know I must pray for them. I must pray that God silences them somehow. I am a bit more calm now, but the documentary wants to make you strangle them. My brother Phil said it’s almost like someone in society should take one for the team and just take them all out… haha. I understand what he means. I cannot take the callousness and hate they give off.
This man is Fred Phelps, the pastor of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. I don’t know why the church claims to be baptist. There is no baptist association across this country that would take them. They are radical, fundamental, legalistic renegades. I should hope that Christians and non-Christians realize they are a problem, and they in no way reflect Christianity across the globe.
Oh! I forgot to mention this part entirely. What Westboro Baptist Church does is go and picket events across the country. They will go to universities, gay pride events, synagogues, churches and funerals. They love to protest the funerals of American soldiers. The documentary deals with an example of that, and I feel so sorry for widow who had to go through that. Anyway, they love to hold up signs that merely shock and anger people. They think that when people get mad (and rightly so) that they are getting brownie points from God. They think they are suffering. I might as well ask a fag to hit me across the face so I can get a few more jewels in my crown when I get to heaven.
Pfft.
Here are just a few of the signs and services the church has to offer:
And my personal favorite:
Thank you, Fred Phelps, for all the crusading that has resulted in a nationwide revival and a genuine call to repentance.
*deep breath*
Pleasing people
Is so predictable
We love you now
Then stab you how many
Times. I obsess
And am making a mess
Failing to impress you
In all that I can’t do
Danielson – Did I Step on Your Trumpet (click to download)
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Long post. Just don’t phase out. So much has happened today, and I love it. I’m not going to bore anybody about the movies I watched or the effect they might have had on me; instead, I’m going to talk about two specific things that are important right now.
As you may or may not know, I am in Austin staying with my brother Phil until I get the “okay go” back to Beaumont. I don’t want to travel all the way down there just to get turned around. So, until that moment, I am here. And it has been such a blessing to be here.
Part 1
I went through my day, fairly uneventful, but I enjoyed it. I know it won’t be this luxurious by the time I return to Beaumont. I went with Phil to Chuy’s, and I enjoyed the food. I tried this strawberry margarita, and it was bad. I have yet to have anything alcoholic that I enjoyed. The closest thing was a shot, the four horsemen, and it was neutral–nothing special as far as beverages go. I think this whole alcohol thing is skipping me, and I don’t mind.
We started to drift into serious waters in our conversation when Phil asked me about these Bible verses I have printed on a piece of paper and taped to the top of my laptop. From there we began to talk the proceedings of my life as of late. Phil said he could see noticeable change in how I am acting, and he wanted to know “what’s up”.
I know that he and I can get a little rough around the edges when it comes to discussions. I get defensive and Phil’s words come across harsh at times. So, that doesn’t make for a good mix, but I think it went well. He brought up a very good point, something I will be thinking about for a long time, and I will begin to make sure I have an answer for myself.
I firmly believe that the mind is capable of so much. I believe that it can delude and trick unlike anything else on this planet. We can go our entire life trapped inside ourselves and simply miss it all. Is religion immune from this possibility? I think not.
When it comes to my relationship with God, there are so many surface-level things that suck up the majority of my attention. Things such as love, peace, joy, discernment, etc. These things (Christian/psychological benefits) are at the forefront of my attention right now, as a matter of fact. It is important to know that some people can find these things (and be fully convinced in their mind that they are right) in different places. What is different about Christianity other than some form of meditation that advocates complete control of one’s body, mind and spirit? This is something I do not fully have the answer for, but it is something I must investigate.
Why am I interested in Christianity? I sure hope, for you, it is not convenience. Am I just believing in some higher standard, or is there something of value to me that sets Christianity apart? I need to know what I believe, and I can’t side-step this issue. To me, this is a time of excitement and encouragement. I think this puts me in a better position to taste and know that the Lord is good.
I know that God created me to be intellectual. He wants me to ponder and think about the truths of God. He wants me to discuss and mull over what something may or may not mean. It’s great to be broken, angry, loving, peaceful and wise, but what does it all mean? Where does it all go? What is it all for? For me, I believe that these traits and experiences make me more full of the character of God. And as such, I will be able to give Him more glory by exuding these traits to everyone.
Still, the question of my motivation and why I want it comes up. Am I into Christianity because it was the nearest religion outside my door? Is it because my parents were Christian? It is because America is typically Christian? All because my parents may or may not have taken Christianity serious at all, does it mean that I am all that much more noble for taking up their religion and going ALL OUT on it? May it never be.
I want to study the aspects of Christian Apologetics… not as a defense against atheists and evolutionists, but rather a defense in my own mind. Doubt is something that happens to many great people of Christ, and if you don’t even know why you believe what you do, then you’re going to be in a bit of trouble. I am taking on an active pursuit to the behind-the-scenes aspect of Christianity.
I am not saying that reasoning will lead me to certainty. Certainty means that I don’t need God, or that I don’t need the Bible to understand something about God, and I know God would never want it that way. You can never scientifically deduce that your belief is valid, and so of course it is based off faith. As such, I will ultimately have faith and believe there is a God and that He is who He says He is, as told by the Bible. I want to deeply understand this passion of mine.
I wouldn’t claim to love music, stop practicing for 50 years, and then expect everything to be hunky-dory with my skills on the piano and guitar. Why would I do the same with my walk with Christ?
Part 2
I later was able to meet up with one Andy Morris and Trevor Koonce in Austin, TX. I remembered seeing on Facebook that Andy’s status said something about being in Austinotopia… or something extremely cheesy like that, haha. I sent him a text, and before I knew it, I was driving to this guy Nate’s apartment where Andy and Trevor currently reside. I got lost and then I found the place. I met these girls Katherine Parma and Kelly ???. I met this guy Casey as well, who was studying for a test in Color Theory, by the way. Me and Trevor were going to leave and meet Mason and Jonny Jordan and Co. in downtown Austin, but that fell apart because they were leaving just as we would have met up with them. So, we went back to the apartment with the people.
We left to Katherine’s house, where we were supposedly going to watch a movie, but I see a guy on a couch and lady in a chair. Basically, I got to talk to some people about music and theology. There was David and Paula Parma, in addition to Paula’s brother Steve. Currently Steve is a hurricane evacuee from Groves, TX. Anyway, they were talking about “long hair” and how to “dress appropriately” in church. When they began to discuss speaking in tongues, I sat down by them on the couches and began to talk. Then we branched into areas of worship, musical styles, historical interpretation of music, generation gaps, style vs. substance, hymns and contemporary worship, and probably many other things.
I got to share a lot from my point of view, and I think the people really respected what I had to say. I loved getting to hear different point of views, and though sometimes we may disagree, there are core values that are not disagreed upon (salvation by faith, etc). I love the ability to ponder and discuss Biblical truths. I love to talk about that with people different than myself. These three people, in very different ways, were very cool.
After leaving, I could tell that there was a level of respect and love in the air. I know that God uses me to bless people and ESPECIALLY that I am blessed as a result of other’s words of encouragement. I think me and Andy may go back to that house later tomorrow to continue in our good times.
I just really enjoyed being with people who speak to me about the truths of God. Or the deliberation thereof. I just feel so very rewarded by God, and I thank Him all the more for that. There are so many great and glorious things changing about me, and I welcome every one of them.
Broken
I wish that there were unicorns and chemicals
That could help me forget I’m a miracle
I wish that there was a place where I could go
Where I wouldn’t feel like I’m an animal… to you and yours
I wish that there were rainbows and sleeping pills
That could help me forget that I am not well
I wish that there was a place where I could go
Where I wouldn’t feel like I’m an animal… to you and yours
The Standard – Unicorns and Chemicals (click to download)
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The weather was cool in Austin today, but it was not sunny like it was in Dallas. 
Ben Stuart of Breakaway Ministries at Texas A&M University said that you can’t remain broken forever. At times a person may get “used” to their new state of perpetual brokenness that they think they must remain there. I know why God breaks people down, and he started that process on me about two months ago. I cannot say that I have been built up yet. I do feel, though, that perhaps it has begun to start. Even today I broke down, and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m weak or if there is still so much I need to learn. I think both.
Psalm 51:8 (Amplified Translation)
Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
I have been reading through the book of Psalms. Many of the ones I have been focusing on range from Psalm 30-55 or so. I have also been reading through Job, and that is going well.
I feel like one of the three things God took away from me has to do with my ability to write music. I can’t focus things into anything tangible right now. Considering how important this is to me, it’s been difficult to deal with how music actually fits into my life. I can write music reasonably well, but there are so many things I want to say, both musically and lyrically. I cannot make the two come together. Perhaps this blog is to compensate for my inability to apply a spoken message to my music. This also has to do with why I think Autumn Sonata has fallen apart. This is also why I think The Loch is working out so well for me right now. God has pushed me more toward the background when it comes to music. In this, too, there is a purpose.
I feel like so many of the issues that bring me to my knees are being brought up by God. I cannot let go of certain things because God blatantly reminds me of what it is to me. I wouldn’t say it is a hindrance, and as such I feel like there is a specific purpose behind it all. I would love to feel empowered, bold and unaffected, but God doesn’t want it to be that way.
I really miss you. I also really miss my friends who weathered the storm.
